Hellooooooooy mi gente! Happy fucking New Years! Shit that happened fast! I literally remember exactly what I was doing & feeling in the first week of 2018 like it was just last week. Then again, I started my new year in a pretty unforgettable way xD I am so fucking proud to say I am at the complete opposite feeling, mentally & emotionally than what I was in the beginning of 2018. I figured this would be a perfect way to sit down & just reflect on the past year. So here’s my 2018 rewind! Hope you enjoy it!
Now as I said above, my new year started off on a memorable note. At this point, I’m pretty sure everyone knows what happened or at least has a good idea of it xD But it was a cliche way to start the New Year I’ll tell ya that. For the record though, it wasn’t much of a surprise. You know when you can feel something is gonna happen soon so you’re not too shocked when it does? Yeah that was me. Don’t get me wrong, it sucked but, like I said it wasn’t a surprise. Nawimsyin?
Things got pretty fucking interesting as the year went on. I was outgrowing people, outgrowing situations, taking control, learning so much about how I want to live my life, & accepting what is & what isn’t anymore. I have to say, the first half of 2018 was pretty fucking annoying. It was plot twist after plot twist. Shit was getting exhausting.
A few people I thought would be in my life for awhile, made their way out pretty fucking fast xD That shit was like a domino affect. As soon as one person left, the other ones followed xD At the time I was pretty upset, but as the year went on I realized it was actually a good thing to have them gone. I never actually realized how much stress came from having those people in my life. As much as I was “toxic” to them, they were just as “toxic” to me. I’ve learned a lot from my errors within those relationships & I am so glad I was able to move on, in a way(I might be petty from time to time but hey aren’t we all ;D).
2018 was one for the books, I was starting to live for myself. I was doing what I wanted to do & wasn’t apologizing for it. I mean, nobody else apologized for doing me dirty aka “doing what makes them happy” ;D. Don’t get me wrong, I was hurting people’s feelings, but isn’t that life? Not everyone is gonna agree with your decisions but in the end, IT IS YOUR LIFE. I was cautious & not intentionally hurting people but if I wanted to better myself & do things that made me happy I didn’t care all that much. Shit that sounds fucked up… But you guys get what I mean? Life is too short to be living it for others & being miserable. I wanna be happy overall. That was my priority in 2018.
I’m glad to have gone through all the bullshit that I did with people in 2018. From that, I was able to get closer to other people. I have genuine people around me now & it’s a great fucking feeling. A special shout out to Savannah for being the only loyal person during the shitty part of my year. Thank you for being genuine & for being down as fuck. Thank you for being so real with me & thank you for introducing me to your beautiful family! I’m so happy that we’ve gotten closer. You’re a beautiful person inside & out! You deserve to be happy so don’t ever forget that. Love you bitch!
While I’m giving shout outs, shout out to Ana. Thank you for helping me realize what’s actually important and what isn’t (what’s worth my fucks given & what isn’t). Thank you to Sydney for being so understanding & genuine! Thank you to Jessie & Jocelyn for always being loyal & Jessie for being the best friend ever. Thank you to Bamba as well for being there for me EVERY SINGLE DAY. For being patient as fuck when I was losing my shit. Thanks for also showing me that my feelings matter too.
In conclusion xD 2018 was shitty(but nothing compares to how shitty 2017 was, I mean I did attempt suicide… ha, wow.) Well, let me rephrase that, 2018 started off pretty fucking shitty. The last few months however, have been the most peaceful my life has ever been. I didn’t get my usual seasonal depression! HOLLA! I was actually taking care of myself & pleased with how my life was going. I went to a few concerts. Drank a lot of fucking coffee… A LOT. Discovered new coffee shops! Had some great nights with great people! I’m so happy how my year has ended.
Now this is probably the time where I should discuss my goals for 2019, but I feel like in the past, that has done nothing but bring me problems. That whole “speak it into existence” bullshit ain’t for me. Sorry guise xD I noticed that every year around this time, I would talk about how I plan on doing this or that, or that the upcoming year is gonna be my year & it always turns out shitty xD I did it last year & the year before that & yeah. Not fun. I’ve just decided to “move in silence” & enjoy the ride. Get shit done & prosper in life. Be happy. Be healthy. Be me. Hope everyone haa a safe & fun New Years Eve.! I hope your 2018 was full of happiness & growth! I hope your 2019 brings you even more.
Xoxo, Bad N Bruja ;D
Now here’s some gems from this year, enjoy! (This year I’ll try to take more pictures instead of videos xD)